The Danger of the Comfort Zone

We all enjoy the comforts of a safe place; whether that is our basic needs like food and shelter or a familiar groove where everything feels stable with friends, work, and family. But what if that “safe” space is quietly eroding your dreams, ambition, and sense of self? Staying comfortable may feel harmless…until you wake up far from who you once hoped you'd be.

Believe me, I have been there: stable job, house, family, food on the table and just drifting through each day taking for granted the things I had. When I was diagnosed with my kidney disease, it was the eye-opening dose of reality that I needed. I looked in the mirror and saw a middle-aged man, overweight, out of shape, and a complete shell of the person I thought I would once be.

While I may have been challenging myself at work, I was not challenging myself in life. I was not working towards becoming better in any facet of my life. That comfort began to erode my self-respect and believe me when I say, once you lose that, you are headed in a very bad direction.

The time in self-reflection after my diagnosis was a stark wake up call. I needed a change.

Between diagnosis and my transplant, I took the time and put energy towards making that change. It was challenging for sure, but not nearly as challenging as looking myself in the mirror each morning thinking “what a loser!” Change meant I needed to take risks, be vulnerable, step outside my comfort zone and into the forge.

I had to get over the fear of being vulnerable enough to ask for a donor. I had to get over the fear of running and exposing myself to being a goofy overweight man trying to run a marathon. Sharing my story publicly through this blog, Instagram, and my book? Absolutely terrifying.

But in taking those risks, in stepping outside my comfort zone, in being open to being exposed and vulnerable, I grew. I continue to grow. As a result, my confidence improves each time I accomplish something, my fear of trying something hard has diminished, and in a surprising twist, I am no longer comfortable being comfortable.

So, you might be asking, how far do I step out? There is no one size fits all answer but you should think about Goldie Locks. Too little discomfort – you remain stagnant. Too much discomfort – you get frustrated and quit. But there is a sweet spot and finding it may require some trial and error. For example, if you can comfortably walk around your neighborhood once, trying to do it 10 times may be too far of a stretch and 1.5 times may not be hard enough.

Public speaking a challenge? Talking in front of your best friend is too easy, but giving a TED Talk at Madison Square Garden without building up to it is probably too far.

There have been many psychological studies that have proven pushing yourself just beyond your comfort level has major positive psychological impacts in how you progress towards goals, personal growth, and shifting how you see yourself.

So, ask yourself: Am I stick in a rut? What have I done to push myself recently? What have I always wanted to do or try but have been too afraid to do it?

Now, write it down. Create an action plan. Get uncomfortable. Do it!