The Danger of the Comfort Zone

We all enjoy the comforts of a safe place; whether that is our basic needs like food and shelter or a familiar groove where everything feels stable with friends, work, and family. But what if that “safe” space is quietly eroding your dreams, ambition, and sense of self? Staying comfortable may feel harmless…until you wake up far from who you once hoped you'd be.

Believe me, I have been there: stable job, house, family, food on the table and just drifting through each day taking for granted the things I had. When I was diagnosed with my kidney disease, it was the eye-opening dose of reality that I needed. I looked in the mirror and saw a middle-aged man, overweight, out of shape, and a complete shell of the person I thought I would once be.

While I may have been challenging myself at work, I was not challenging myself in life. I was not working towards becoming better in any facet of my life. That comfort began to erode my self-respect and believe me when I say, once you lose that, you are headed in a very bad direction.

The time in self-reflection after my diagnosis was a stark wake up call. I needed a change.

Between diagnosis and my transplant, I took the time and put energy towards making that change. It was challenging for sure, but not nearly as challenging as looking myself in the mirror each morning thinking “what a loser!” Change meant I needed to take risks, be vulnerable, step outside my comfort zone and into the forge.

I had to get over the fear of being vulnerable enough to ask for a donor. I had to get over the fear of running and exposing myself to being a goofy overweight man trying to run a marathon. Sharing my story publicly through this blog, Instagram, and my book? Absolutely terrifying.

But in taking those risks, in stepping outside my comfort zone, in being open to being exposed and vulnerable, I grew. I continue to grow. As a result, my confidence improves each time I accomplish something, my fear of trying something hard has diminished, and in a surprising twist, I am no longer comfortable being comfortable.

So, you might be asking, how far do I step out? There is no one size fits all answer but you should think about Goldie Locks. Too little discomfort – you remain stagnant. Too much discomfort – you get frustrated and quit. But there is a sweet spot and finding it may require some trial and error. For example, if you can comfortably walk around your neighborhood once, trying to do it 10 times may be too far of a stretch and 1.5 times may not be hard enough.

Public speaking a challenge? Talking in front of your best friend is too easy, but giving a TED Talk at Madison Square Garden without building up to it is probably too far.

There have been many psychological studies that have proven pushing yourself just beyond your comfort level has major positive psychological impacts in how you progress towards goals, personal growth, and shifting how you see yourself.

So, ask yourself: Am I stick in a rut? What have I done to push myself recently? What have I always wanted to do or try but have been too afraid to do it?

Now, write it down. Create an action plan. Get uncomfortable. Do it!

How Physical Strength Builds Mental Strength

The First Step That Changes Everything

Momentum doesn’t come from thinking about doing something. It doesn’t come from waiting until you “feel ready.” It begins the moment you take that very first step. Lace up your shoes. Step into the gym. Hit the trail. Pick up the weights. That’s where it starts: one decision, one action.

But here’s the beauty: once you take that step, momentum begins to build. The small spark of effort turns into a flame. Over time, that flame becomes a fire. A fire that not only powers your workouts, but ignites transformation in your mind.

How the Physical Translates to the Mental

At first, exercise feels like something separate, just something you do for your body. But what you quickly discover is that the physical grind is training something far deeper. Every rep strengthens your discipline. Every mile tests your resilience. Every drop of sweat builds your capacity to endure when life pushes back.

Confidence doesn’t magically appear. It is something that’s built rep by rep, run by run, choice by choice. Before you realize it, the discipline you practice in the gym or on the trail starts bleeding into other areas of your life: how you approach your work, your relationships, your goals.

The lesson you ask? Discipline is transferable. Strength doesn’t stay in the weight room. No, it shows up in your character. It shows up in your attitude.

The Organic Transformation

Here’s the part no one tells you: it’s not about forcing transformation, it’s about allowing it to happen. When you show up consistently, when the new habits become normal, the shift takes place almost without you noticing.

Suddenly, waking up early to train isn’t a battle. It’s who you are. Tackling a hard project doesn’t feel overwhelming. It’s just the next rep. Obstacles don’t paralyze you anymore because you’ve trained yourself to push through.

The physical momentum powers the mental, and the mental momentum makes you unstoppable.

Stop Sitting on the Sidelines

Life doesn’t reward hesitation. It rewards action. You can either watch from the sidelines, waiting for the “perfect moment,” or you can take that first step today.

It doesn’t matter where you start. What matters is that you start. Because one step leads to another, and before you know it, you’re not just stronger. You’re more confident, more resilient, and more capable than you ever imagined.

The transformation begins the moment you choose to move.

So, what are you waiting for? Take that step. Build that momentum. And watch how your physical strength creates the mental strength to overcome anything in your way.

Why “Choose Your Hard” is a Lie

We’ve all heard the motivational line: “Being overweight is hard. Being in shape is hard. Choose your hard.”
But here’s the truth no one talks about: the first “hard” isn’t hard at all! It’s the easy way that slowly destroys you.

Think about it.
When the alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m., it’s easy to hit snooze, roll over, and sleep until 7:00.
It’s much harder to get up, hit the gym, journal for 30 minutes, meditate for another 30, then shower and head to work.

It’s easy to grab a breakfast burrito, a sub for lunch, pizza for dinner, and a mountain of ice cream for dessert. I know because I used to do exactly that. That’s how I shot up to 272 pounds before I stopped stepping on the scale.

The “easy” life made me sluggish, gave me heartburn, left me moody, and robbed me of energy.
The “hard” life, you know the one with discipline, has made me sharper, happier, and more alive.

Here’s the real difference:

• The “easy” choices feel good now but make life harder later.

• The “hard” choices feel hard now but make life easier later.

This is why you can’t let feelings decide your actions. Let discipline lead the way. Write down your goals and the daily behaviors required to reach them. Each time you act on them, you’re rewiring your brain, creating new pathways that turn into habits… and those habits will turn you into someone unstoppable.

Your challenge:
Today… No, right now: write down one goal and the exact action you’ll take toward it. Then do it, no matter how you feel. Because feelings follow action, not the other way around.

How I Almost Cried in Public Today…

Music has a strange kind of magic, doesn’t it?

It can make you smile, bring you to tears, transport you back in time, or hit you so hard it shakes something deep inside your soul.

That happened to me today.

I was walking through a store when Purple Rain by Prince and the Revolution came over the speakers. You know those songs that stop you in your tracks? That grab you by the heart and refuse to let go? This was one of them.

The moment that guitar solo kicked in, goosebumps raced down my arms. The emotion in Prince’s voice, the raw power in those strings – it was overwhelming. Forty years later, that song still reaches into people and moves them. That’s the kind of impact few ever achieve.

Here’s the thing…

YOU have that kind of power too. Yes… YOU!

Your words, your attitude, your kindness (or lack of it) leave an imprint on every single person you meet. Maybe you won’t touch millions like Prince, but you can absolutely change a life. I know this because I’ve seen it happen without even knowing it at the time.

A few years ago, my kidneys were failing. Truthfully, I should have been on dialysis, but I begged the doctors to give me time to find a donor. I put a plea out on Facebook, asking if anyone would be willing to consider donating a kidney. My story was shared and, in my first “mini-viral” moment, the ripple began.

Less than a month later, I had three matches. One of them became my donor. The other two? I had never met them… until last week.

A Facebook memory popped up about my transplant journey, and two days later, I noticed two unfamiliar names online. It was them, the two people who weren’t selected as my donor. I reached out to thank them and give a quick life update.

One replied right away, thrilled to hear I was thriving. But then they dropped something that hit me straight in the tear ducts:

During their donor evaluation, doctors said their weight was too high for it to be safe to donate. That moment became a wake-up call. Since then, they’ve lost 80 pounds. Because of me.

A stranger once tried to save my life… and in the process, I unknowingly helped them save their own.

Why share this? Because it proves we’re all capable of leaving a lasting mark. Even without trying, we can inspire change. So, imagine the impact if we lived with intention; choosing kindness, generosity, and positivity every single day.

Start small:

• Be kind to yourself first. The world can be harsh enough without your help.

• Each morning, look in the mirror and say three kind things about yourself out loud.

• Then, find three opportunities during the day to be kind to someone else.

Do this every day for a week and watch how your mood shifts.

Because here’s the truth: your life is like a song. Some people will hear it once and forget it. But if you live with intention, you can create something that echoes in their hearts for years… just like Purple Rain.

The Myth of Balance: Why Pursuing Purpose Requires Imbalance

Purpose requires imbalance.

Not forever, but for a season. We’ve been sold a lie that we need to constantly seek balance in our lives. It’s simply not true when you are in pursuit of greatness.

So, in the season of pursuit, you must become single minded, focused on the pursuit knowing the happiness will come later.

The first day after my transplant, a Physical Therapist (PT) stopped by my room to introduce herself. She said that during my 10-day stay, we would work our way up to walking one lap around the ICU and climb one flight of stairs. I smiled and said, “After we do that today, what are we going to do tomorrow.”

Immediately she knew the type of person she was dealing with and replied, “We’re going to have to slow you down, aren’t we?”

Yep, that’s me. Her sentiment was common with most of the people I talked to in the three months of recovery and the following months as I trained for the marathon. Comments like “take it easy” or “don’t push yourself too hard” fell on deaf ears. I know it came from a good place but they didn’t understand what was burning inside me.

I wasn’t trying to get back to normal, I was trying to evolve. I was in pursuit of something bigger, something transformative. I had something to prove: we are not our circumstances and we have the power to rewrite our story.

I knew deep down that those people didn’t: Balance doesn’t build greatness, discipline does.

Like last week’s message, the training was about becoming someone new, not the finish line. This meant focus, determination, sacrifice. Intentional imbalance.

It wasn’t about forgetting everything and everyone else, but commitment and intentional shift in priorities to achieve my goal.

1.      Balance is a Buzzword – NOT a blueprint

There is a misconception that we can “do it all” from career, rest, fitness, family, mental health, friends and it all be in perfect harmony. The reality is, each of those only get a piece of you in “perfect harmony”. Purpose doesn’t operate in perfect harmony. It requires sacrifice and the deeper the purpose, the more focused you must become.

2.      There Are Seasons for Everything

This imbalance is not bad, nor is it meant to be forever; it’s seasonal. Sports are played at certain times of the year, farmers sow seed and harvest at specific times of the year, and your pursuit will happen for the time it takes. Pushing yourself, grinding, chasing, resting, resetting, and regrouping are all seasons in your journey. Know what season you are in and act accordingly.

3.      Temporary Imbalance Builds Long-Term Freedom

Going all out for a season, whether it’s for healing, growth, or purpose, you create the foundation for future freedom. Make the sacrifice today, learn, grow, become stronger and you will be paid dividends on all your sacrifices. Think about focusing on your new business or weight loss journey; imbalance in the short-term will help that business thrive and your fitness soar.

4.      Focus is the Antidote to Mediocrity

Balance can become an excuse for distraction. What we’re really doing is avoiding the discomfort of growth and progress in the name of being “balanced”. The pursuit of our purpose will not be comfortable. It’s intended to stretch you, challenge you, force you to become more than you already are. This is where change occurs. This is where pursuit becomes reality.

Are you chasing balance or growth?

Reframe your discomfort: it’s not burnout, it’s becoming!

Let go of the myth that you need to juggle everything all the time and be perfect in the process to be worthy of success. Instead, lead into the season you are in right now.

Build if it’s building season and rest if it’s resting season. Know the difference and know when to be imbalanced.

So, if you are in pursuit of a goal right now, be comfortable with being imbalanced. It will be the difference between growth or staying idle.