Why “Choose Your Hard” is a Lie

We’ve all heard the motivational line: “Being overweight is hard. Being in shape is hard. Choose your hard.”
But here’s the truth no one talks about: the first “hard” isn’t hard at all! It’s the easy way that slowly destroys you.

Think about it.
When the alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m., it’s easy to hit snooze, roll over, and sleep until 7:00.
It’s much harder to get up, hit the gym, journal for 30 minutes, meditate for another 30, then shower and head to work.

It’s easy to grab a breakfast burrito, a sub for lunch, pizza for dinner, and a mountain of ice cream for dessert. I know because I used to do exactly that. That’s how I shot up to 272 pounds before I stopped stepping on the scale.

The “easy” life made me sluggish, gave me heartburn, left me moody, and robbed me of energy.
The “hard” life, you know the one with discipline, has made me sharper, happier, and more alive.

Here’s the real difference:

• The “easy” choices feel good now but make life harder later.

• The “hard” choices feel hard now but make life easier later.

This is why you can’t let feelings decide your actions. Let discipline lead the way. Write down your goals and the daily behaviors required to reach them. Each time you act on them, you’re rewiring your brain, creating new pathways that turn into habits… and those habits will turn you into someone unstoppable.

Your challenge:
Today… No, right now: write down one goal and the exact action you’ll take toward it. Then do it, no matter how you feel. Because feelings follow action, not the other way around.

How I Almost Cried in Public Today…

Music has a strange kind of magic, doesn’t it?

It can make you smile, bring you to tears, transport you back in time, or hit you so hard it shakes something deep inside your soul.

That happened to me today.

I was walking through a store when Purple Rain by Prince and the Revolution came over the speakers. You know those songs that stop you in your tracks? That grab you by the heart and refuse to let go? This was one of them.

The moment that guitar solo kicked in, goosebumps raced down my arms. The emotion in Prince’s voice, the raw power in those strings – it was overwhelming. Forty years later, that song still reaches into people and moves them. That’s the kind of impact few ever achieve.

Here’s the thing…

YOU have that kind of power too. Yes… YOU!

Your words, your attitude, your kindness (or lack of it) leave an imprint on every single person you meet. Maybe you won’t touch millions like Prince, but you can absolutely change a life. I know this because I’ve seen it happen without even knowing it at the time.

A few years ago, my kidneys were failing. Truthfully, I should have been on dialysis, but I begged the doctors to give me time to find a donor. I put a plea out on Facebook, asking if anyone would be willing to consider donating a kidney. My story was shared and, in my first “mini-viral” moment, the ripple began.

Less than a month later, I had three matches. One of them became my donor. The other two? I had never met them… until last week.

A Facebook memory popped up about my transplant journey, and two days later, I noticed two unfamiliar names online. It was them, the two people who weren’t selected as my donor. I reached out to thank them and give a quick life update.

One replied right away, thrilled to hear I was thriving. But then they dropped something that hit me straight in the tear ducts:

During their donor evaluation, doctors said their weight was too high for it to be safe to donate. That moment became a wake-up call. Since then, they’ve lost 80 pounds. Because of me.

A stranger once tried to save my life… and in the process, I unknowingly helped them save their own.

Why share this? Because it proves we’re all capable of leaving a lasting mark. Even without trying, we can inspire change. So, imagine the impact if we lived with intention; choosing kindness, generosity, and positivity every single day.

Start small:

• Be kind to yourself first. The world can be harsh enough without your help.

• Each morning, look in the mirror and say three kind things about yourself out loud.

• Then, find three opportunities during the day to be kind to someone else.

Do this every day for a week and watch how your mood shifts.

Because here’s the truth: your life is like a song. Some people will hear it once and forget it. But if you live with intention, you can create something that echoes in their hearts for years… just like Purple Rain.

The Myth of Balance: Why Pursuing Purpose Requires Imbalance

Purpose requires imbalance.

Not forever, but for a season. We’ve been sold a lie that we need to constantly seek balance in our lives. It’s simply not true when you are in pursuit of greatness.

So, in the season of pursuit, you must become single minded, focused on the pursuit knowing the happiness will come later.

The first day after my transplant, a Physical Therapist (PT) stopped by my room to introduce herself. She said that during my 10-day stay, we would work our way up to walking one lap around the ICU and climb one flight of stairs. I smiled and said, “After we do that today, what are we going to do tomorrow.”

Immediately she knew the type of person she was dealing with and replied, “We’re going to have to slow you down, aren’t we?”

Yep, that’s me. Her sentiment was common with most of the people I talked to in the three months of recovery and the following months as I trained for the marathon. Comments like “take it easy” or “don’t push yourself too hard” fell on deaf ears. I know it came from a good place but they didn’t understand what was burning inside me.

I wasn’t trying to get back to normal, I was trying to evolve. I was in pursuit of something bigger, something transformative. I had something to prove: we are not our circumstances and we have the power to rewrite our story.

I knew deep down that those people didn’t: Balance doesn’t build greatness, discipline does.

Like last week’s message, the training was about becoming someone new, not the finish line. This meant focus, determination, sacrifice. Intentional imbalance.

It wasn’t about forgetting everything and everyone else, but commitment and intentional shift in priorities to achieve my goal.

1.      Balance is a Buzzword – NOT a blueprint

There is a misconception that we can “do it all” from career, rest, fitness, family, mental health, friends and it all be in perfect harmony. The reality is, each of those only get a piece of you in “perfect harmony”. Purpose doesn’t operate in perfect harmony. It requires sacrifice and the deeper the purpose, the more focused you must become.

2.      There Are Seasons for Everything

This imbalance is not bad, nor is it meant to be forever; it’s seasonal. Sports are played at certain times of the year, farmers sow seed and harvest at specific times of the year, and your pursuit will happen for the time it takes. Pushing yourself, grinding, chasing, resting, resetting, and regrouping are all seasons in your journey. Know what season you are in and act accordingly.

3.      Temporary Imbalance Builds Long-Term Freedom

Going all out for a season, whether it’s for healing, growth, or purpose, you create the foundation for future freedom. Make the sacrifice today, learn, grow, become stronger and you will be paid dividends on all your sacrifices. Think about focusing on your new business or weight loss journey; imbalance in the short-term will help that business thrive and your fitness soar.

4.      Focus is the Antidote to Mediocrity

Balance can become an excuse for distraction. What we’re really doing is avoiding the discomfort of growth and progress in the name of being “balanced”. The pursuit of our purpose will not be comfortable. It’s intended to stretch you, challenge you, force you to become more than you already are. This is where change occurs. This is where pursuit becomes reality.

Are you chasing balance or growth?

Reframe your discomfort: it’s not burnout, it’s becoming!

Let go of the myth that you need to juggle everything all the time and be perfect in the process to be worthy of success. Instead, lead into the season you are in right now.

Build if it’s building season and rest if it’s resting season. Know the difference and know when to be imbalanced.

So, if you are in pursuit of a goal right now, be comfortable with being imbalanced. It will be the difference between growth or staying idle.

The Finish Line is a Lie

Graduation isn’t the end. Crossing a finish line isn’t the end.

Yes, both are significant but they’re both just the beginning. Because the real journey starts after the celebration ends.

For most of us, life is a series of “finish lines.”

We go to school, study hard, and graduate. We get a job, work hard, and retire. We sign up for a marathon, train for months, and cross the finish line. Each one giving us the belief that we arrived or are finished.

But here’s the truth that no one talks about…

The diploma isn’t the destination.

The finish line isn’t the finale.

They’re starting points!

When I crossed the finish line of my first marathon (just 346 days after receiving a kidney transplant) I felt proud, exhausted, and overwhelmed. But the most powerful emotion I felt wasn’t victory… It was clarity.

I realized I didn’t go through all that training just to finish a race. I did it to become someone new. And that version of me had only just begun.

Key Points

1. Every Finish Line Is a Launch Pad

Graduation, job promotions, completing a race: these aren’t ends. They’re earned new beginnings. Crossing the line means you now have the tools, the knowledge, and the experience to start playing on a bigger field.

2. Training > Event

The real growth doesn’t happen on race day. It happens in the miles and effort no one sees. The same way the value of school isn’t just the degree, it’s the discipline, effort, and mindset you gain through the journey.

3. Evolve, Don’t Expire

Too many people “graduate” from school, a goal, or a milestone and stop growing. But purpose doesn’t retire. It expands. Use what you’ve built to build what’s next.

4. Who You Become Is the Point

The reward for finishing isn’t just the medal or certificate, no, it’s the identity you forged in the process. That identity is now the foundation for your next chapter.

What “finish line” have you been sitting at?
Are you holding on to an old version of you, thinking that goal was the peak?

It wasn’t. It was the training ground for something more. Don’t stop now.

Take your tools. Take your growth. Take your story.
Now go build the next mountain worth climbing.

The Joy of Writing My Book

Did you ever groan when the English teacher assigned a five-page paper on some random topic? Same here.

I was the classic math-and-science kid and writing essays felt torturous. The only part of English class I actually liked was diagramming sentences because it felt logical like solving a puzzle.

The funny thing is, even though I dreaded English assignments, I secretly dreamed of writing fiction novels. I’ve always been hooked on detective stories where the hero chases down serial killers and solves murders. Those books grabbed me from page one and wouldn’t let go.

In my spare time, I actually liked writing but only when it was poetry or short stories, where I could unleash my imagination. Research papers? Forget it. They felt like too restrictive and prescriptive, all rules and no creativity. Creative writing, though? That was where I found freedom.

It wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I finally got excited about a writing assignment. My English professor told us to pick a song that meant something to us and write about why. BINGO! I could talk for days about music and how it shapes my life.

Naturally, I chose a Pearl Jam song, which won’t shock anyone who knows me. As I wrote, it felt like the words were pouring out on their own. It was one of those moments where time disappears, and I was in the flow.

When I got my paper back, it was an A+ with two paragraphs of comments from my professor saying how moved she was by my passion and honesty.

But it would be more than twenty years before I felt that same kind of energy again.

It happened right after I ran my first marathon just 346 days after my kidney transplant. I knew I wanted to share my story and inspire others, but I wasn’t sure how. So, during some holiday time off work, I sat down at my computer and started typing.

At first, it was painfully slow because I kept trying to make it perfect. Eventually, I decided to let go of writing the “perfect” essay and just write.

Ten days later, I had a rough manuscript for a book. Two weeks after that, I’d cleaned it up enough to send it off for editing.

Little did I know that writing a book was the easy part. Getting it onto shelves? That’s a whole different beast. I’ll have to save that for another blog post.

Here’s what I’ve learned about writing:

Writing my book felt so effortless at times because, in many ways, it had been 47 years in the making. Every experience, every setback, every victory, every lesson I’d collected over nearly five decades poured into those pages. The words flowed because they were simply waiting for me to finally give them a place to live.

Here’s what I take away from that experience:

Sometimes the thing we’re meant to create is already inside us, waiting patiently for the right moment and the right version of ourselves to bring it into the world. Don’t let your doubts, your fear of imperfection, or the enormity of the process hold you back. Whether it’s writing a book, starting a business, launching a podcast, or chasing a new goal, you don’t have to have it all figured out.

Like most of my messages, it takes action. So, start writing, start building, and start creating. The clarity and momentum come through the act of doing.

Call to action:

Have you ever felt like there’s a story, a message, or a mission inside you waiting to get out? What’s the “book” you’ve been waiting to write: literally or figuratively? I’d love to hear about it. Drop me a comment below or send me a message. Let’s remind each other that our stories are worth sharing and that it’s never too late to start.