Finishing Last - And Owning It
Have you ever worked your tail off for something… only to realize you weren’t nearly as good as you thought? You crossed the finish line, hit the goal—but the result was a gut check, not a victory lap. It’s in those moments that a question rises:
Do you walk away discouraged, or do you dig deeper and level up?
Yesterday, I competed in my first Spartan DEKA Fit event in Anaheim, California.
Picture this: CrossFit meets a 5K—ten 500-meter runs, and after each one, a brutal workout station: burpees, rowers, sled pushes—you name it. It's a grind.
Since my kidney transplant, I’ve made it my mission to chase hard things. To see where the edge is—and then step over it.
Why? Because I believe most of us live under self-imposed ceilings. We tell ourselves we can’t. We say we’re too tired, too old, too out of shape, too late. But most of the time, we’re just too afraid to try.
Walking into that DEKA Fit venue, I was hit with a wall of intimidation.
Everywhere I looked—shredded dudes, jacked women, elite-level athletes everywhere. You can’t help but compare.
But then… I noticed something.
Mixed in with the sculpted Spartans were people like me. Real people. Carrying extra weight, moving a little slower, faces red with effort. And yet, they were still there—grinding. Not to impress anyone. Not to win.
They were there to prove something to themselves. Just like me.
By the time I hit the last station—Weighted Burpees with a 44-pound Spartan RAM—I was running on fumes. Gassed. Spent. I had to reach deep into a place most people avoid.
When I slammed out that last rep and lifted the weight over my head, I felt it.
Victory. Not because I won. But because I finished.
Truth is… I didn’t get a runner’s high. No wave of adrenaline. Just pure exhaustion.
And later, when I saw my results? I finished second to last in my age group.
Yeah. You read that right. Second. To. Last.
But let me tell you something:
Second to last is better than sitting at home wishing I had tried.
I’m sharing this because someone out there needs to hear it:
It’s okay to show up and not be perfect.
It’s okay to try and fall short.
The courage is in the effort.
The growth is in the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
I had a choice when I saw those results. I could’ve said, “Welp, that’s not my thing,” and walked away.
Instead, I said: GOOD. Now I know the baseline. Now I know where to work.
I’m competitive as hell, and I don’t accept last place as my destiny. I could make excuses—sick lungs, respiratory infection—but that’s not how I operate. This experience? It’s fuel. It’s fire. It’s the spark I need to go harder next time.
Because this isn’t about beating anyone else.
It’s me vs. me.
Always has been. Always will be.
So ask yourself:
👉 What are you doing to grow?
👉 What are you doing to challenge yourself?
👉 What are you doing to get uncomfortable on purpose?
Whatever the answer is—just don’t let it be nothing.
