Pain Is An Illusion

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the phrase “choose your hard”. The idea that easy today leads to a harder tomorrow, while intentional hardship today creates strength and freedom later. In that same vein, I’ve come to believe something even more powerful:

“Pain, the kind we choose, is an illusion.”

 When Pain Is a Teacher, Not a Threat

Let me explain. We can’t avoid pain. But we can choose when it shows up.

You can choose a little soreness in the gym today, or deal with chronic pain and physical limitations 20 years from now because you didn’t move your body. You can choose the short-term discomfort of failure and rejection, or live with the long-term pain of regret and untapped potential. And maybe most importantly:

You can choose to see pain not as the enemy, but as the signal you’re doing something that matters.

 The Illusion of Pain (and What It Reveals)

When I run long distances, pain shows up. Legs get heavy. Knees tighten. Breathing shortens.
But if I stay in it long enough, something interesting happens:
My body finds a rhythm. My mind starts to drift. And suddenly… I’m not thinking about the pain. I’m thinking about everything else — life, memories, possibilities, purpose.

Ultra-runners call this space the pain cave. It’s not a place to fear — it’s a place to train. A place to explore. A place to evolve. Because pain, in that context, isn’t there to break you. It’s there to reveal you.

Discomfort ≠ Danger

The same thing happens when I meditate, especially using a Shakti mat. It’s essentially a mat with thousands of spikes that presses into your back and shoulders. It sounds like torture, but it’s actually a tool for focused healing and intentional discomfort. When I lie down on it, my instinct is to flinch. My brain screams, “This hurts! Stop!”

But I breathe through it. I remind myself: “This isn’t damage. This is discomfort. And I’m still in control.”

And just like that, pain transforms into presence. Tension gives way to calm. The illusion fades.

Pain Is a Signal — Not a Stop Sign

Most people stop the moment they feel pain. Why wouldn’t they? From the time we’re kids, we’re taught pain means something is wrong or that it’s dangerous.

But not all pain is harmful.

·         Some pain is a signal of growth.

·         Some pain is the body adapting.

·         Some pain is old stories being rewritten.

The same way a muscle has to tear before it rebuilds stronger, we sometimes have to lean into the discomfort to build the mental and emotional strength we need for what’s next.

Your Body Lies to Protect You

In researching my next book, I dug into the science of pain perception.
Here’s what it says:

• Pain is highly subjective. Two people can experience the same stimulus, and rate the pain level wildly differently.

• Mental framing changes everything. Studies show that when people expect pain to serve a purpose (healing, strength, transformation), their pain tolerance increases significantly.

• Neuroplasticity is real. You can train your brain to reinterpret pain; not as a stop sign, but as a checkpoint.

That means you don’t have to eliminate pain, you just have to learn how to move through it.

What Does That Look Like? 

• Pain at mile 4, but your training plan says 5? Good.

• Get the 46th “no” from potential clients? Good.

• Heart pounding before speaking in public? Good.

None of that pain is malicious. It’s not there to destroy you. It’s there to build you. Discomfort is the cost of transformation. And learning to embrace that discomfort with gratitude, not resistance, is how you become unstoppable.

Final Message: Pain Is a Doorway. Walk Through It.

The pain of progress is not the same as the pain that broke you.

When you choose your pain, when you lean into discomfort, when you train your mind to recognize the illusion… That’s when you win.

Because on the other side of that illusion?

Freedom. Growth. The person you were meant to become.

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This week, flip the script. Ask yourself:
What discomfort am I avoiding that I actually need to grow through?

• Is it the pain of starting over?

• The pain of putting yourself out there?

• The physical pain of a workout you’ve been dodging?

• The emotional pain of showing up consistently with no applause?

Write it down. Lean into it. And remind yourself: “This pain is not here to break me… It’s here to build me.”

Pain is temporary.
Growth is permanent.
And you’re stronger than the illusion.